REFLECTIONS IN LIFE…
A time comes in your life when you finally get it…
when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold
on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind
tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once
or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look
at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize it’s time to
stop hoping and waiting for something to change… or
for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the horizon. You come to terms with the fact that
neither of you is Prince Charming nor Cinderella and
that in the real world there aren’t always fairytale
endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any
guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with
you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect
and that not everyone will always love appreciate or
approve of who or what you are … and that’s okay.
They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And
you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself…and in the process a sense of newfound
confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for
the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and
learn that the only thing you can really count on is
the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they
mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will
always be there for you and that it’s not always about
you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take
care of yourself… and in the process a sense of
safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you
begin to accept people as they are and to overlook
their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the
process a sense of peace and contentment is born of
forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself
and the world around you, is a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the
junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how
you should look, how much you should weigh, what you
should wear, what you should do for a living, how much
money you should make, what you should drive, how and
where you should live, whom you should marry, the
importance of having and raising children, and what
you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different
points of view. And you begin reassessing and
redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values
you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to
begin with … and in the process you learn to go with
your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we
receive. And that there is power and glory in creating
and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You
learn that principles such as honesty and integrity
are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the
mortar that holds together the foundation upon which
you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know
everything, it’s not your job to save the world and
that you can’t teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the
only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and
that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn
about love. How to love, how much to give in love,
when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really
are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying
to control people, situations and outcomes. And you
learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop
working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are
perfectly okay… and that it is your right to want
things and to ask for the things you want and
that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You
come to the realization that you deserve to be treated
with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you
won’t settle for less. And you learn that your body
really is your temple. And you begin to care for it
and treat it with respect.
You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more
water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that
being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty, and so
you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels
the body, laughter fuels our soul. So, you take more
time to laugh and to play and to pray.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life
what you believe you deserve… and that much of life
truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that
anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different than
working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to
achieve success you need direction, discipline and
perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all
alone… and that it’s okay to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is
the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You
learn to step right into and through your fears
because you know that whatever happens you can handle
it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to
live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight
for your life and not to squander it living under a
cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t
always get what you think you deserve and that
sometimes - bad things happen to unsuspecting, good
people. On these occasions you learn not to
personalize things. You learn that God isn’t punishing
you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s just life
happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal
state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such
as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and
redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn
to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges
instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in
many of the simple things we take for granted, things
that millions of people upon the earth can only dream
about. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for
yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise
to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for
less than your heart’s desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so
you can listen to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and God
inside, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and
you begin to design the life you want to live as best
you can.
Trust Jesus. He promised us "I will be with you always til the end of time."
